SERIOUSLY…

Aren't I Special?
Self Esteem Backfires

After a full generation of kids hearing how wonderful they are by parents and educators fearful of damaging the self esteem of a young person the fruit of the tree is ripe. And the fruit is pretty smelly.

This is not to render judgement on an entire generation of course. But a study just released makes clear that the pattern of nurturing the self esteem of children in parenting and education is having negative consequences for individuals and society. It found that college students have become more narcissistic and self-focused.

"We need to stop endlessly repeating 'You're special' and having children repeat that back," said the study's lead author, Professor Jean Twenge of San Diego State University. "Kids are self-centered enough already." The longitudinal study tracked the narcissistic tendencies of students for 15 years and those with above average scores swelled from a third to two thirds over that time.

What does this mean? While there are clearly some advantages to having a powerful self image, the downside is profound. "Narcissism can have benefits," said study co-author W. Keith Campbell of the University of Georgia, suggesting it could be useful in meeting new people "or auditioning on 'American Idol."' But, he added, “narcissism can also have very negative consequences for society, including the breakdown of close relationships with others."

This is a central premise of our book Refrigerator Rights: Creating Connections and Restoring Relationships. And the bad news for young adults hoping for a fulfilled future includes the greater likelihood of failed marriages and career frustrations. As the study notes, narcissists "are more likely to have romantic relationships that are short-lived, at risk for infidelity, lack emotional warmth, and to exhibit game-playing, dishonesty, and over-controlling and violent behaviors."

WHOA!

This is a loud alarm bell for teens and young adults to think about their place in the world and reorient their expectations. Even the noble work of young people has had the motivations called into questions. “Dr. Twenge viewed even this phenomenon skeptically, noting that many high schools require community service and many youths feel pressure to list such endeavors on college applications.”

Soooo…as if the Baby Boomers weren't already a disappointment to their Greatest Generation parents, now we are evidently rsponsible for raising a generation of deluded, self-aborbed twits. Sorry.

Click Here for more

ARE YOU A NARCISSIST?
See if these symproms ring a bell:

1. Has a grandiose sense of self-importance

- Your office wall is filled with awards & plaques that you designed and printed yourself

2. Is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success

- Long before graduation, you bought your own cap and gown and wear it around the house

3. Believes that he or she is "special" and unique

- When listening to a recording of a casual conversation you realize you use the word "I" in every single sentence

4. Requires excessive admiration

- After being honored at a corporate dinner you play a recording of the presentation for family every night before dinner

5. Has a sense of entitlement

- To avoid waiting in line you show up in a rented wheelchair

6. Is interpersonally exploitative

- At least half your annual income is derived from scamming elderly relatives

7. Lacks empathy

- When driving past an accident on the highway you experience no feelings

8. Is often envious of others

- When attending a dinner honoring a colleague you make loud and derogatory comments about them during their acceptance speech

9. Shows arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes

- You often demean people who wait on you at a restaurant

SERIOUSLY…

The Rumor Mill
The Academy Awards

One of my self-proclaimed “healed patients” is a mental health reporter & celebrity photographer for a community paper in Berkeley, California. Stationed in Los Angeles, Nick Kolitis’ column is called Rumor Mill. (This week’s entry is reprinted with permission):

Dr. Will,

Oscar Fever! It was another magical night in Hollywood for the Academy Awards. AND it was my biggest score ever!

After covering the awards shows for several years and being denied access to the stars, I was determined this year to get up close and personal. I had a brainstorm last week. The stars stay in a few exclusive hotels in the area. What if I could gain access to them at the hotel? How you ask? By working as a waiter or bellhop or room service worker, that’s how! And by God it worked. I got a job at the Beverly Hills Hotel working as a cocktail waiter at the pool! I met the supervisor - who was frantically trying to hire enough staff for the rush - and told him, ”my name was Travis Ford Coppola.” And then I added cryptically, “I believe you are familiar with my family.” That sealed it. In fact he sooo believed me that I became his confidant and he told me story after story. It was awesome!

Unfortunately my identity was blown when a real member of the Coppola family outed me. But before I was physically “escorted” off the property I learned quite a lot about the celebrity environment. In a major scoop I have learned that several Hollywood stars are gay! And I’m ready to name names! For instance, Nathan Lane, Boy George and Rosie O’Donnell are all homosexual! That’s right! The buzz among the staff confirmed these rumors and I am hereby announcing that these stars are all gay! WOW!

While the usual mega-stars always turn out in Hollywood during Oscar week, the sad news is that there are a lot of wannabes in the vicinity as well. I mean it’s expected that Julia Roberts would be in town, but what are Eric Roberts and Billy Baldwin doing here? I waited on each of them - both wearing tiny speedos and drinking rum and cokes. I also waited on a cast member from Full House whose credit card was rejected and then had write a check - Oh yeah, like that will clear!

Other marginal celebs included Casey Afflect, Misty Ono and Terry Ford. They all spent an afternoon frolicking around the pool, charging their food and making it clear that they were ready to do interviews. Whenever I served them a drink or a snack I tried to discreetly snap a photo but was unable to get the right angle. In fact, Frank Stallone grabbed my camera and threw it in the pool.

All in all it was a great experience, even though I was physically tossed from the hotel. It was worth every minute. While some of your so called big time paparazzi got the close ups of the stars, I got a lot of back story right from the families of those very same stars! It will all be in my book which I hope will be picked up some time in the coming year.. Watch for it: “A View from the Edges: Confessions of an Excluded Paparazzi.”

That’s all from here. Another week of delusions in Hollywood.

That’s how I roll! I’m out!
Nick K.

SERIOUSLY…

"All Rise!"
Coming This Fall to Fox: Judge Larry

After a week of flamboyant behavior, Larry Seidlin became a celebrity as the judge in the Anna Nicole Smith hearing this past week. The “weeping judge” as he has been dubbed, invited scorn on himself for his emotional, chattering bench style. He seemed to be posing for the cameras, with many observers speculating that he was auditioning for a television role.

What was clear is that the focus of the trial was squarely on him and not the individuals involved in the actual proceedings. Seidlin, who by the way looks like Danny DeVito’s taller brother made a fool out of himself and bristled when criticized. The week long carnival ended with the Judge breaking down in tears as he made his decision.

So what do we conclude?
The judge’s self-focus raises the issue of narcissism.
His inane behavior was probably more the result of nerves, however, than narcissism.
But at the very least, he is needy!

What is the difference between having narcissistic tendencies (which we all have at times) and a full blown narcissist? In general narcissistic people project and guard their image as model of perfection. Theoretically a narcissistic personality disorder is a defense masquerading inner insecurity. They project grandiosity in an effort to keep others from seeing through to their fear and vulnerability. It is critical to them that others never see them as weak or incompetent.

Narcissism is more often diagnosed in men than in women. And often the narcissist in fact become successful as a result of their grandiosity and belief in their own potential. So it is not surprising that narcissists often succeed in business, politics and as entertainment celebrities, physicians and attorneys. remember, this does NOT mean that your doctor, lawyer or favorite star is a narcissist. In fact if you have feelings of superiority over them it may be that YOU are narcissistic!

The real challenge of narcissism comes when an unexpected catastrophe occurs that breaks through the illusions of omnipotence and self-importance. When an illness , career reversal or even a depression interrupts their self perception they can collapse like a house of cards.

SERIOUSLY…

Step Away from the Computer…
China’s Drastic Measures

Most are aware that China has emerged as a social, political and economic powerhouse on the world stage. In fact, few doubt that they are poised to take over as the globe’s leading economy. Among the most painful of their growing pains is how to control the behavior of their people as they open their society. The battlefield for government control these days is clearly the Internet. Despite the efforts of the authorities to rein in the surfers, millions, especially the young, are branching out in cyberspace.

So… how are the Chinese responding?

They are confronting the problem of Internet addiction by using ELECTROSHOCK THERAPY!!

Yes, by jolting a user with hot current the hope is that it will break the dependence on the screen. Here’s to modern science and enlightenment. Clearly the Chinese have a way to go in their march toward global leadership. As I recently heard someone point out, the Chinese “want to be modern, but not western.” Well one thing is for sure, they don’t have the ACLU there yet!

The sniping aside, addictive behavior is a real problem here as it is everywhere. Choosing connection to media gaming over real interpersonal relationships is, on its face unhealthy. Human beings need to balance fun, solitary activities with a life that includes other people. When an individual devotes more leisure time hours to looking at a screen than engaging with others in person, the health consequences are significant.

There is nothing wrong with enjoying the benefits of our amazing new technologies. But if, in your own assessment, you would admit that you prefer staring at a screen surfing and gaming to spending time with family and friends, it’s time to consider the costs of your choices.

Have a great weekend

ARE YOU ADDICTED TO THE INTERNET?
DO THESE SIGNS RING A BELL:

SERIOUSLY…

Scandal Media
Trash Talk

On CNN tonight the Queen of Bottom Feeding media, Nancy Grace will hold an in depth discussion on the fight for Anna Nicole Smith’s Body and the custody of her infant heir. In the tradition of Geraldo Rivera, this show trades in the most salacious stories appealing to the bored channel surfer who peeks into the proceedings with the same timid shame they feel when looking at pornography. While such private guilty pleasures might be harmless it is nonetheless unseemly at a time when soldiers are wounded and dying in a war that has us at each other’s throats.

And yet this actually explains the appeal of media creatures like Nancy Grace and her ilk. When watching the hard news and realizing that there is nothing to be done as an individual as madness goes on, a mental health choice must be made. How much reality can a person take? We need a distraction and rest from the brutality of the world. If you are making the choice to distract yourself by immersion in popular culture and its paparazzi voyeurism it might be worth rethinking your media menu. It doesn’t mean you overreact and detach from television entirely. But choosing something that is more edifying and less time-wasting than the “Anna Nicole Corpse Saga” will be less stressful.

Instead of wallowing in the trash of gossiping media, spend time talking to or playing a game with your kids, having a drink with your neighbors or reading a book.

Trust me, you will sleep better!

SERIOUSLY…

MELTDOWN?
"Shave and a haircut, two bits…"

On the heels of the Anna Nicole Smith circus comes the startling image of singer Brittany Spears shaving her head bald in a Los Angeles salon!

For over a year the pop star has been a paparazzi focus. From her Madonna tongue kiss through the antics of her husband Kevin Federline and his ill-conceived rap career, pop culture fans have followed her storied career. It's included questionable parenting, a divorce and her wild, globe-trotting partying while caring for her two small children. As concern for her destructive lifestyle soared she seemed on the precipice of an implosion. And it appears that this week’s incidents - a one-day stopover in rehab followed by the head shaving - could mean she has gone off the cliff.

From afar it is difficult to know the nature of her psychological state. Is she really unravelling? Is this an elaborate media stunt to keep her in the news? Is it the end game or just a game? The critical variable here is wealth. A person worth tens of millions of dollars can make choices not open to the rest. A life shielded by personal caretakers, bodyguards and staff eliminate many of the consequences of intemperate behavior that would sink an ordinary person. Nightly binges of alcohol and drugs combined with world travel and omnipresent cameras would soon overwhelm an average individual. But when the exhausting responsibilities of daily living are farmed out to others, the slide down is delayed, perhaps even stopped.

There have been concerns raised that the high profile lifestyle of Brittany, Paris Hilton, Lindsey Lohan, Anna Nicole Smith and other rich young celebrity women is having an effect on young girls around the country desiring to emulate them. While there is surely reason to take note of the behavior of our adolescent daughters, I have faith that most girls understand that unless their parents are similarly affluent, these choices are not open for them. Beyond provocative outfits, styles of walking and talking, most young girls have more substantive role models in their life. But when the line is crossed to excessive parting, sexual promiscuity, alcohol and drug abuse the parents have to step in before the authorities become involved.

I believe most parents do the right thing in controlling the behavior of their teenagers. But it is always amazing to read about parents who are every bit as stupid and irresponsible as their immature teenaged kids. All across the country there are adults who actually allow their teenagers to hold unsupervised parties and are then shocked when the behavior spirals out of control.

Whenever I read about girls gone wild I assume that they were raised by parents gone dumb.

SERIOUSLY…

Portrait of Loneliness
Anyone Seen Grandpa?

Workers looking into a frozen pipe at a Long Island house went downstairs and saw Vincenzo Ricardo sitting in his recliner “watching television." Nothing strange about that. Except that the elderly Long Island man died over a year ago!

The workers found his body this week after since no one else realized that he was even missing, let alone dead. His neighbors said they thought he was in a hospital. Adding to the weirdness was the fact that Vincenzo, sitting in front of his blaring TV had diabetes and was blind! Further, the low humidity in his house preserved his remains and he was essentially mummified, his features intact and a full head of hair. What a visual image it creates!

More importantly, there was apparently not even one, single person in his life who missed him enough to check up on him. Absolutely incredible. His neighbors thought the family had sent him to a facility for long-term care. But no one really seemed to know for sure.

It has been my life’s passion to help people understand the need to have strong relationships with others beyond our spouses, partners and kids. We cannot underestimate the need we have in our lives for emotionally close connections - people who become brothers, sisters and mentoring seniors. If ever there was a picture of the isolation of American suburban life, Mr. Ricardo reflects it. (For more, read the book Refrigerator Rights)

How long would it take for you to be found if you expired in front of the television while watching American Idol?

Indicators That You Are Possessed

SERIOUSLY…

"He's So Clean!"
What Might We Find Out?

It was not a surprising announcement but it was historic. Illinois Senator Barack Obama confirmed that he was indeed running for President. Aside from the obvious fact that he is African American, he is also a young, relatively inexperienced politician. And yet he has galvanized the country with his fresh, youthful approach and message of optimism. He is raising a great deal of campaign money and has the support of a growing number of people who find his candidacy and message greatly appealing.

Barack is a fresh and optimistic candidate who appeals to us with his fervor and hope. Of course we have become cynical enough that we are concerned that there will be some terrible facts uncovered about his past that will sabotage his integrity. In the meantime we can hope that he remains above it all. But the sniping and attacks are already beginning. Fox news “erroneously” put his picture over the name of terrorist Osama Bin Laden. And Conservative pundit Bill Kristol suggested that if Obama was President during Lincoln’s time he would not have freed the slaves. Huh?

Is this the best shot his opponents have for him? And Senator Joe Biden got in trouble by describing Obama as “clean” and “articulate” intimating that this was unusual for an African American individual.

It is an anxious time to support any candidate so early in he election process. There is a fear that at any moment something will be revealed discrediting his character. Sometimes it is legitimate, but frequently it is infuriating spin. And the vicious, specious, character assassination of the past few elections is perhaps why so many are responding to any candidate that promises to change the tone. (Aside from any opinion I had about John Kerry, the "swift boat" debacle was a national embarrassment, supprted by people who themselves dodged the draft during Viet Nam. An attack by the Chicken Haws!)

So far Mr. Obama is appealing to people who are more concerned about the quality of the debate than the particulars of a position on a flammable social issue. Perhaps I am too cynical, but I am not sure the deep divide of the country between conservatives and liberals can be bridged. I don’t know who I will vote for next year, but in the meantime, I’m rooting for Barack and his optimism to survive intact.

SERIOUSLY…

Anna Nicole Smith
Artificial Celebrity

Pop culture celebrity Anna Nicole Smith died unexpectedly in Hollywood Florida this week! She collapsed in her hotel room about a mile from where I was staying. (I was in Hollywood, Florida to speak to GMAC)

It’s a shocking twist on an already chaotic soap opera life. My first awareness of her was when she famously married Howard Marshall, an 84-year-old oil billionaire who died a year later. Smith was immediately embroiled in an inheritance battle with Marshall’s family over his estate.

Anna bore a striking resemblance to Marilyn Monroe and made a career out of her paparazzi status through Playboy appearances, modeling for Guess Jeans and starring in a reality show about her life. Her mercurial personality included soap opera episodes involving her son, his tragic death and the birth of a baby whose paternity is still uncertain. Add to this her pattern of radical weight changes as well as alleged drug use and her premature death is perhaps not so surprising. The emotional and physical strain of her high octane lifestyle had to be enormous.

In some ways Ms. Smith was emblematic of what is perverse in American popular culture. I don’t mean this as a criticism of her personally, but rather that the fascination with her was bizarre. She was not a talented artist; she had no discernible performance skills. And yet she was a celebrity. But why?

She was famous because she was famous. This is uniquely American phenomenon. We seem to equally lionize those with admirable ability as well as those who are simply in the public eye. What was Anna known for except that she was simply known? In the end, her celebrity without cause was perhaps a contributor to her erratic lifestyle and her demise.

What a sad story - for her and us.

Have a restorative weekend!

Do You Look Like A Famous Person?
Who Do You Resemble?
And What Are They Really Saying?

SERIOUSLY…

An Astronaut Goes into Orbit
The Sad Lisa Nowak Saga

Headlines this week feature the bizarre story of NASA astronaut Lisa Nowak’s arrest on serious felony assault charges. With apparently little or no warning she unraveled in a love triangle that resulted in her stalking and attacking a romantic rival. In addition to the connection to NASA, an organization of great American heroes, this story has other riveting elements. Chief among them is the suddenness of the emotional collapse of a gifted, intelligent and courageous individual. Looking at her official NASA photograph compared to her mug shot yesterday offers a shocking comparison. Here is a great life come undone seemingly in an instant.

But of course this is the central question. Which is true?

Was she a well adjusted person who disintegrated within a matter of a few weeks?
Or is she a troubled individual who masked her emotional instability from others?

Maybe we will find out as the story unfolds. If it is the former, it is a frightening lesson about the ultimate impact of an over stressed life. If this is the eruption of a building anxiety it cautions us to take seriously our own quality of life. Feeding off the praise of those who marvel at your ability to juggle an overwhelming amount of responsibilities may feel good in the moment. However, this is not a way to live. The human body will eventually collapse under the weight of trying to do too much. We may look at astronauts as super heroes, but that is a fantasy that is not a real approach to healthy living.

It may be the case that Lisa was long troubled by a personality disorder, unprocessed past trauma or some other serious mental disorder. If so, it offers an equally disturbing picture of a unbalanced person whose problems were not treated, perhaps not even known, by the people around her. This is often a result of modern life - living so independently and detached from others that everyone assumes you are doing well when in fact you are an melt down waiting to happen!

The lesson? Get connected. Get Refrigerator Rights Relationships!

Are you about the blow?
See if you can relate to these symptoms:

- The veins in your forehead are raised and visible

- For three weeks your diet has been nothing but chocolate candy bars

- When you approach a colleague walking down a corridor, they pin their back flat against the wall to let you pass

- You sit at your desk for hours staring into space and occasionally laughing

- When your alarm clock goes off you hyperventilate

- Your normally pale complexion is now cherry red

- A trip to the grocery store requires an hour of emotional preparation

- When someone casually asks, “how are you doing?” your first thought is to go buy a gun

- When your boss asks you to make copies of a report you fall to your knees weeping

- You make serious inquiries about working on an ocean freighter to South America

SERIOUSLY…

Paris Revealed
Empty Sophistication

For all her family wealth and social sophistication, Paris Hilton is unusually hapless in many ways. She carelessly lost a PDA and compromised several celebrity phone numbers. She has a DUI and, of course, had a sex tape released on the Internet. But her most recent gaffe may be the most destructive of all. Apparently she failed to pay a rental fee for a storage garage that contained a large amount of personal items. And surprise, surprise! A twisted, imaginative entrepreneur bought the abandoned items and launched a web site called ParisExposed.com. He is selling many of Paris’ personal items, including videos that show her using racial slurs. Oops!

Suddenly the veneer of Hilton sophistication cracks with exposure. The haute jet-setter is shown to have a venal side. It’s a reminder that while some people are indeed sophisticated, others have money to be packaged as if they are sophisticated.

We’ve long known that Ms. Hilton, although she is savvy, is not well educated and a limited intellect. And it now becomes clear that she is earthy as well. The evidence was all gathered in a storage garage that went up for auction. This should be reassuring to anyone who may look longingly at the lifestyle of a globe trotting celebrity.

Seeing the privileged, party-hopping fun of Paris Hilton and her rich friends can understandably evoke envy. But her privilege is a mere accident of birth and we never understand the reasons for any individual’s blessed life. All we can do is look with curiosity at the individuals who are living a high octane life. But beware of ascribing more to them than is warranted. Paris may be rich, but it is not likely that she is any more intelligent or sophisticated than you. In fact, if you are reading and enjoying this entry, I can assure you that you indeed are more than a hapless celebrity.

Are You Sophisticated? Perhaps not.
Can you relate to these habits?

SERIOUSLY…

The Island Pace
Slowing Down

As a classic Type A personality, my metabolism is fast. I often run up stairs and rush around without any purpose. As a result I have never struggled with lateness or obesity, but I have fallen and injured myself because I was racing around. In spite of these tendencies I believe that this is not a good way to live. It is far better to maintain a calmer pace.

This past week I was in Cancun, Mexico to speak to a company and was reminded that in many parts of the world people are not in a hurry. The people of the Caribbean and Mexico live at a slower and better pace than most Americans I know - including myself.

Since I am often fighting my tendencies to rush I also struggle mightily with impatience. Waiting on line drives me crazy. It takes a great deal of effort to remain calm when waiting on a slow line. And it seems that if there are multiple lines at a store I wind up on the wrong one. While other lines are moving along nicely I get behind some dimwit who asks too many questions, directions or simply has a conversation with the authority controlling the line. It is all I can do not to shout out something.

Lately I have been cognizant that this is unproductive and harmful to my physical health. I read a book on the Type A personality where the author detailed the health risks associated with the intensity of my personality type. It was a sobering reminder that my way of being in the world was probably shortening my life expectancy.

I am committed to living life more at the pace I observed in Cancun. Slowing down and relaxing will certainly have a positive effect on my health and emotional outlook. In fact I am eager to get started on slowing down. Can you relate to this problem? Perhaps a trip to Cancun is the therapy you need. A slower pace does not mean inertia or lack of ambition. A more deliberate pace of life seems to be an advisable approach to life and success. Impatience usually leads to irritability which in turn makes matters worse. It injures relationships and triggers resentments. It’s not a good formula for high achievement.

Are You Impatient?

SERIOUSLY… (mmm…maybe not)

Business Coach to the Modest
You Can Achieve A Bit More with Les Moore

What do you need to get to a somewhat higher level?

An ex-patient of Dr. Will’s, who claims to have been “completely healed” of his neurosis, is a modestly successful business coach who specializes in helping those with what he calls, “reasonable ambitions.” From his home office in Chicopee, Massachusetts Les Moore coaches individuals whose careers are stalled and who desire a modicum of success. He is the author of 28 books including:

I’m Okay, You’re On Your Way!
I’ll See You on the 7th Floor,
Living Above the Flat Line and
It’s More Than You Deserve

The lead column of this month’s newsletter is reprinted here with permission:

To All You Tired Strivers: Greetings from The Les Moore Institute!

Hoorah! Significant economic news this month! It looks like the minimum wage will be passed. You know what this means, of course? We in the middle will naturally be pushed up the salary ladder without lifting a finger! What a country! When the news was released that the bill would pass we immediately cancelled classes and threw a celebration. Everyone gathered to party in the lunch room with very hard liquor.

On another note, this week I received an email from LMI alumnus Kyle “Buzz” Dropper, now living in Beaumont, Texas. Thought you would find it encouraging:

Les,
Greetings from Beaumont where the summer humidity breeds mosquitoes the size of hummingbirds. After an intensive job search lasting 11 months I landed a great position. I am now the night dispatcher for Budget Rent A Car at the Southwest Texas International Airport. I must tell you that my Institute training perfectly prepared my for this position. At first they wanted me to consider being the day manager but astutely I turned them down. With a little research I found out that since the day guy does the driver hiring, I would be responsible for any damage to the buses by the people I employed. I said, “Whoa! No thanks, Man. I don’t need the pressure. As night guy at an airport with virtually no overnight business, I supervise the drivers but with no downside. They report to me but I simply pass it on to Lou, the ambitious day guy!

So here I am in management at a mid level and enjoying the sweet life! Thanks for what you taught me. Without you I would probably have (as we say at LMI) “risen higher only to fall farther!”
Say hello to the gang!

Buzzy D

Way to go Buzz!

Do you know someone who can learn to love life at the right height? Tell them about the Les Moore Institute and we’ll rush them a brochure. And don’t forget to pre-order your copy of my new book, due out this Spring: A Tragedy of Inflated Ambitions: The True Story of Jack Delmont, Career Fanatic!

What about your journey? Are you running a race you cannot possibly win? Why not join our team and find a level that suits your moderate capacity? It is amazing how many people just like you are turning their back on the drive for super-success. If you are described as an “over-achiever” it tells me that you are pushing yourself beyond reasonable limits. Take a seat and reflect on what’s going on?

Remember Les Moore’s Modest Mantra:

Some scale the mountain, some manage the supply station halfway up.

Think about it!

Have a good month!

SERIOUSLY…

Weekend Refection
In My Other Life

Elusive Contentment

It took me a long time to become a happy, contented person. It took a lot longer that I hopet takes you!
But since I have experienced most of my adult years with free-floating angst, perhaps I have some insight that will be helpful for you.

I grew up in a blue collar family that valued higher education for our generation. My father was a World War II hero and he and my mother demanded that all seven of their children get an education. I am so grateful for their insistence.

However, there are times I admit that I imagine my life if I had chosen a different path. Some of my family and friends spurned college and have had a wonderful, fulfilling life working in other trades. My fantasy was always driving a truck or operating heavy equipment. I think I would have done well at those endeavors. When I was in the army, I was an enlisted man trained as a wireman and a clerk. I was happy being a worker following orders and could have continued on that path. I can't say that I have deep regrets, but I did waste too many years feeling unsatisfied with my life and choices.

Mostly I wish I was bolder in following some of my dreams.

What about you? Wherever you find yourself now have you learned to accept it? The Apostle Paul famously said, “I have learned the secret of being content in plenty and in want.” It took me a long time to reach that place. I’m happy to be here. Hope you are too. Have great weekend. I'm giving a speech in Cancun, so you know I'm in tall cotton today!

SERIOUSLY…

Happy Groundhogs Day
I'm Freezing

The sun will come tomorrow, bet your bottom dollar that tomorrow…

Today is a day we reflect on hope. With the December holidays a fading memory, many of turn our attention to the approach of Spring. This is the time when we begin to get weary of dreary weather and long for warm air, beautiful blooms and the return of birds and critters. Even in warm weather climates, Spring represents rebirth, and this is a theme that resonates with every human being.

Whatever has died in your life - dreams, opportunities or even loved ones - the cycle of nature promises a rebirth. It is in the repeating rhythm of nature - the recycling pattern of death and birth - that enables us to prevail against the disappointments of life. The symbolism may seem trite, but through the simple humility of a pudgy little rodent - the annoying, destructive, buck-toothed groundhog - we realize that Spring comes whether we agonize over it or not. The groundhog does not exhibit angst or worry about whether regeneration will indeed come again. He simply emerges and notices whether his wait will be a few weeks, or more than a few weeks. Oh, to be serene like Punxsutawney Phil.

Where do you turn for hope? Whatever Phil tells us today about this coming Spring, remember that it will come anyway - whether you are actively hoping or not. Punxsutawney Phil often displays more faith than us. In other words, a dopey little rodent displays a more evolved sense of reality than we do.
That’s embarrassing isn’t it?

Groundhog’s Day will tell us how long we must endure the dreary winter before Spring arrives.

Visit the official site of Punxsutawney Phil the weather forecasting groundhog: CLICK HERE

Do you have Spring fever? See if these indicators ring a bell: