March 2007

Friday, March 30, 2007 Lafayette, Indiana Weekend Reflection: Shock & Awe!

SERIOUSLY… Tony Snow & Elizabeth Edwards What’s Next for them…for us? In the Sermon on the mount, Jesus calls his followers to hold a higher standard of love and kindness when he says: “Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.” He goes on to point out that the sun shines on both “the evil and the good” and that “rain (falls) on the just and the unjust.” The standard for higher living is to resist judging others based on our limited human perceptions. Everyone has a complicated life story and each one of us has had our challenges. In the heat of partisan politics it is easy to focus on what separates us instead of what joins us together. No one is immune from suffering. We had a reminder this week in Washington. Representing opposite sides of the political spectrum, Democratic spouse Elizabeth Edwards and Republican Presidential spokesman Tony Snow were both given stunning health news this week. Each was told that their previous cancers had returned and the prognosis is serious. Elizabeth’s breast cancer has come back and the official statement called it incurable. And Tony’s cancer has spread to his liver. For anyone who has experience with cancer in their own life or their family knows that these announcements are frightening and even grim. If there is an essential challenge to living well, it’s negotiating balance between hoping for the best that can happen to us and being prepared for the worst. Living in either extreme - false hope or imagined fear - is crippling. Living in dread of the next catastrophe to befall us is no life at all. But neither is stony denial that anything will happen to us. How do we cope? How should we cope? Some use distraction to keep their mind off of the grim possibilities. Losing yourself in any activity that takes over your conscious mind helps you avoid the anxiety about what may come. The problem with this is that our unconscious mind is all too aware and can react by making our bodies sick. Depression, anxiety and a host of other physical problems are often at the root of challenges we resist facing. Acknowledging life’s fragile nature while maintaining an upbeat mood is the result of an attitude of faith, hope and love. This is maintained through the power of a strong network of family and friends. That’s how Tony Snow and Elizabeth Edwards will cope, and perhaps even survive what life’s cruel whimsy has dealt them. It could be any one of us. This weekend surrender to faith, focus on hope and engage in acts of love!

Thursday, March 29, 2007 Lafayette, Indiana Why We Watch: Roseanne

SERIOUSLY… I Will Not Recycle My Own Awful Childhood Children, because I love you, I will kick your butt! The show Roseanne was an award winning sitcom that ran from 1988 through 1997. The program starred popular nightclub standup comedian Roseanne Barr. The Connor family lived in the Midwest and the show was seen as an honest depiction of a real working-class family. It bravely took on hot topics like poverty, addiction, teenage development, domestic abuse and homosexuality. It was also a depiction of a strong, assertive woman who ruled her household. And the show famously featured a lead character who was an overweight, brash and dominating woman. The appeal of the show is based on the idea of overcoming a dysfunctional childhood to nonetheless become a well adjusted adult who breaks the cycle and becomes a good parent. Roseanne and Dan Connor openly acknowledge that they came from less than ideal childhood circumstances. Although their style of parenting might appear to be rough, even boorish, they adhere to the crucial twin principles of good parenting: love and discipline. The kids know where the boundaries are and feel that they are valued for who they are, not what they do. In an era when the messages of popular psychology seem to say that if you were raised in a dysfunctional family you are doomed to repeat the tragedy in your adult life as a parent, this show is a reassuring balm to the soul. Roseanne and Dan give encouragement to every young parent that if you love your children and are firm enough in holding them to boundaries of behavior, you can break the cycle of dysfunction once and for all!

Wednesday, March 28, 2007 Lafayette, Indiana Special Guest: Madame Petite

SERIOUSLY…(sort of) Madame Petite: She's A Medium She Sees What You Cannot See Chatting With Ms. Anna Nicole: Fun Times In Heaven In a very powerful session last night I was able to speak with the late celebrity Anna Nicole Smith. It has been difficult reaching her because of all the energy moving to and from her spirit these past weeks, but I finally got through. At first she was a bit abrupt (“…who in the name of God IS this?!…). But she warmed up after I shared my bona fides (including the personal reference from Attorney Johnnie Cochran who I met in connection with a stalking episode years ago). Although she demurred about her personal matters such as the paternity issue, she had many other interesting things to share. She was eager to talk about where she is right now and the people she is, to use her words, “hanging with.” Among her friends are her late husband Howard who “looks fantastic,” and his best pal, rock star Freddie Mercury. She said she has not seen God yet. Apparently there is a waiting list and a complex procedure working up to that moment. “Freddie told me that after you see God you’re so blown away, you need to lie down for like a century or something. He's been avoiding it for several years.” Among the other revelations she shared here are a few of the gems: - There was quite a a hubbub this past week when Letterman character Larry “Bud” Melman arrived. Apparently he is a favorite of many big cheese saints up here, among them St. Francis of Assisi who does a “drop dead” impersonation of Melman. - St. Luke is very short and has a real high voice. He hangs with a gang of Apostles and a few popes who all seem to “have an attitude.” - Anna was told that although Al Gore is right about global warming, it won’t matter because, she added cryptically, “something huge is going to happen before it gets too bad.” I pressed her for more but she just said, “All I can say is, tell people to chill about it" (and she giggled at the unintentional pun). She then said, "It just won’t matter.” - There are many social activities held in heaven and last week they apparently had a huge music festival. In addition to Mozart jamming with Rap Star Jam Master Jay there was lots of food and activity booths including “an old guy named Leonardo something who was doing cartoon sketches of people who passed by. From the way everyone was reacting to him I guess he was real famous in his day. I don't know about that BUT he could draw real good pictures!” Before long she begged off saying she had to get to a dinner engagement with her husband and his buddies, comedian Bill Hicks and wrestler Andre the Giant. She promised to respond to another contact again after a few weeks. Have an uplifting week. And remember, if you are hearing voices, before you go to the Doctor, think about listening to them!

Hmmm…LESS SERIOUSLY....

Ten Celebrities I Don’t Want to Meet In Heaven - Pauly Shore - Al Sharpton - Brandon “Greasy Bear” Davis - Donald Trump - Pat Robertson - George Steinbrenner - The Head On ad producer - Mike Tyson - Andy Dick - Star Jones   Who is on your list? Reader Amy added these interesting names: Bay Buchannan The Pope (this admission will secure my place downstairs) Liza Minnelli Hugh Hefner Melanie Griffith Carolyn Bissett Kennedy

Tuesday, March 27, 2007 Lafayette, Indiana Health News: Oh Yeah!!

SERIOUSLY… Chocolate: Pathway to Long Life Today's Asset; Tomorrow's Threat There is a scene in the film Sleeper where Woody Allen, waking from his frozen sleep in the future is surprised to see the physician smoking a cigarette. The Doctor calmly replies, “Oh, we discovered that they are good for you.” And so it goes with health and science. Yesterday’s recommendation is today’s condemnation. And, of course, vice versa. It makes the head spin. And so today we learn from a clinical study that eating dark chocolate actually helps our blood vessels function better. This is only the latest study to demonstrate that there are health benefits to eating dark chocolate. Why do I suspect that, this study aside, we will sometime learn that although our blood vessels may thrive on dark chocolate, some other part of our body will seize up and collapse as a result of the same delicacy. You know the drill. One year milk is good; another year milk is bad. While no one believes it will be okay to safely light up a smoke anytime soon, you can go crazy worrying about the risks of everything in your diet. And for those engaged in micromanaging their diet and lifestyle, are there enough horrible elements in the air we breathe t render all this effort futile? If my genetic disposition targets me for coronary, I wonder how much longer I really live because I eat chocolate? I am not suggesting that we live recklessly. But in the end, being in happy mood for the most amount of time on the most amount of days of our life is the real end game in my opinion. If you can achieve this buoyant mood through a lifestyle of partying or abstention - have at it! In the meantime, have a great day today.

Monday, March 26, 2007 Lafayette, Indiana On the Couch: Tarzan the Ape Man

SERIOUSLY… Me Tarzan…You Wimp! The Jungle Within This week marks the 95th anniversary of the debut of Tarzan of the Apes. The original story was the creation of Edgar Rice Burroughs in 1912 and it was an instant hit. It spawned dozens of books, films and television depictions of this unique literary character. Readers were captivated by the tale and Burroughs became famous. According to the story, Tarzan was the orphaned child of noble English parents who died in Africa when their son was a year old. Their baby was taken by a female ape and raised deep in the jungle by a family of apes. As the boy grew he used his superior intellectual abilities to learn language, to reason and eventually rule his Ape community. WHO IS TARZAN? Every human being, especially in moments of vulnerability, imagines having the ability to overcome those who would harm or persecute us. When faced with an overwhelming foe we long to suddenly become powerful - to back up our righteous anger with ferocious, physical power. When our feelings of justified rage cannot be matched by physical ability, we feel impotent and humiliated. When confronting great force, we must either flee or stand and face it. Even if you have not actually been in such a situation, we do have the fear that such may come to pass. Tarzan has that rare combination of high, human intellectual capacity with great physical prowess. He can overcome any predator and yet speak the king’s english. Tarzan is a creature of primal energy who can protect those he loves, overcoming all enemies no matter how ferocious. He ruled over all - including even the mighty lion, “King of the Jungle.” For anyone who is vulnerable, Tarzan represents the ideal protector. For the persecuted he is what we long to be ourselves - invincible. He is a creature of the jungle who is simultaneously a man of high breeding. Isn't that our fanasy for ourselves? Tarzan lives as all men would love to live: invincible, free, naked and appealing to women! No wonder we are smitten by Tarzan. He was a super man come from another planet. But instead of Krypton, this super man came from the remote and mysterious jungles of Africa. For an excellent source of information visit the Edgar Rice Burroughs website: CLICK HERE

Friday, March 23, 2007 Lafayette, Indiana Weekend Reflection: Remarkable Women

SERIOUSLY… Great Women Models and Mentors I have women on my mind this week. My wife, Dr. Sally Miller was honored Thursday along with several other remarkable women at a dinner entitled “Salute to Women” sponsored by the YWCA. She certainly deserved the accolades after a career of serving as a parent, grief expert and public school educator spanning severaldecades. It was especially poignant on the very day that I watched Elizabeth and John Edwards announce the recurrence of her cancer. Regardless of your political preference, and apart from the rantings of partisan extremists, I choose to not be cynical. I accept the Edwards’ stated commitment that they are committed to public service just as seriously as I do that of John McCain, Hillary Clinton, Rudy Gulliani, Barack Obama and Mitt Romney. Anyone who puts themselves and their family through the meat grinder of a presidential run has my respect and benefit of the doubt. Elizabeth Edwards' clear statement of support for the campaign made it obvious that she shares the passion for their message and conviction about the well being of the country. She is a strong and courageous woman. I have been fortunate to know many great women in my life. My mother is a strong, intelligent woman and, curiously when I held traditional jobs in every one I had a woman boss. And Sally is the most amazing woman I have every known. (You can read about her here) I understand that there are men who feel threatened by powerful women. But for me, I have always enjoyed their company and their gifts. If you feel this says something about me, so be it. But if it’s critical, trust me, it says something about you as well. I hope you have great women in your life. Have A Restful Weekend

Hmmm…LESS SERIOUSLY....

Are You A Strong Woman? - You have helped an elderly person push their stalled car off the road - Your biceps are thicker than your thighs - You can easily take off the lug nuts of your car's tires - You have never needed help opening a vacuum sealed jar - At funerals you are often asked to be a pall bearer - You have chopped down a tree with an axe - When caught in a hurricane you are able to stand completely erect - During a home remodeling, you removed a concrete porch with a sledge hammer - When tidying up the house, you have moved your husband’s free weights to the attic - You frequently spit

Thursday, March 22, 2007 Lafayette, Indiana Celebrities Gone Bad: When Model Tempers Flare

SERIOUSLY… Naomi Campbell & the Killer Cellphone Eating Humble Pie & Cleaning Up The Crust Too I have suspected for some time that there is a growing mainstream backlash against the spoiled lives and bad behavior of celebrities. Illustrations of star nonsense abound: from the ridiculous spectacle surrounding Anna Nicole Smith’s paternity controversy to the love/hate relationship we have with the young jet set women like Paris Hilton to the weirdness of Michael Jackson and the inane media battle between Donald Trump and Rosie O’Donnell. We love it when they are faced with consequences. Watching Mel Gibson, Russell Crowe and Michael Richards face the press after their rage episodes or Boy George picking up trash in New York City was a delightful indulgence for viewers. And this week we have another star getting humbled for acting out. Spoiled, high maintenance supermodel Naomi Campbell began her five day sentence for throwing a cell phone at her maid in a rage. Convicted of assault, here she is in the Big Apple, not strolling a runway, but the dirty streets of the city cleaning up the mess. Typical of a pampered celebrity, Naomi was accompanied on the first morning by her lawyer who then tried to arrange for her to enter the sanitation facility unnoticed. But delightfully she was turned down by the supervisor who rejected her bid for special treatment. She arrived wearing designer heels but quickly changed into work shoes and a bright orange vest. She was also given a mop, broom and garbage can on wheels. She might have to clean toilets and she will pay for her own lunch. At the end of her long day-one shift of cleaning she was accompanied by her personal photographer who recorded her every movement from the top of her luxury SUV while an intimidating bodyguard kept the public at bay. The statuesque prima donna may be a millionaire but she is getting a taste of the bad life this week in Manhattan. Anyone willing to bet that it changes her? Other than a deterrent to coming back for more, she is probably going to spend several hours in the shower washing off the influence of the underclass. How gratifying.

Wednesday, March 21, 2007 Lafayette, Indiana This Week In History: Bogie Wins His Academy Award

SERIOUSLY… The African Queen Who is my brother, my sister, my lover? Fifty-five years ago today Humphrey Bogart won his only academy award, playing Charlie Alnutt, the crude captain of a small delivery boat called The African Queen. Set in central Africa during World War I, it is a great adventure story about the unlikely pairing of a British missionary Rose Sayer (Oscar nominee Katharine Hepburn) and Captain Charlie who comes to her rescue. The Germans attack the small village where Rose and her brother Samuel serve. They stubbornly refuse to leave in the face of the invaders and Samuel is injured and dies. Realizing that Rose is in peril from the Germans, Charlie persuades Rose to come with him to safety. On a treacherous trek down the African river she in turn persuades him to strike back at the Germans by trying to sink one of their ships. The film is a great adventure story with a great cast and a memorable chemistry between stars Hepburn and Bogart. And the theme is universal - coming together and even falling in love in spite of dramatic differences in social class, breeding and lifestyle. Rose is the model of high breeding, civility and personal decorum. Charlie is a rough drinker without social grace. And yet through their shared adversity each learns to see past the starkly different veneer of the other and reach the warm loving humanity beneath. Circumstances, especially traumatic life experience, strips away the pretense and crust - crude or decorous - to reveal the vulnerable and the needy. The Myth of Temperamental Compatibility It is a reminder that we live in an age where we take far too seriously the myth of temperamental compatibility. We place a great deal of stock in the need to find an emotional match for our personality and peculiarities. But in fact, unless there is underlying psychiatric disturbance, human beings can become close to other human beings regardless of the packaging we present. In the age of individual mastery and lionization of the self, we lose the rich joy of connecting with so many of the people that pass through our lives. If it doesn’t feel good at first, it must be unhealthy. Nonsense. If you are committed to diversity, it means pushing through the outer crust and getting to what is within - even if that sometimes takes our own harrowing journey. Don't Miss The African Queen Get Connected: read Refrigerator Rights

Tuesday, March 20, 2007 Knoxville, Tennessee Why We Watch: Hogan’s Heroes

SERIOUSLY… Klink! Who is this man!? Given this week’s grim anniversary of the start of the morass in Iraq, it seems fitting to reflect on a television program that addressed another American war. The classic television show Hogan’s Heroes (1965-1971), based on the popular film Stalag 17, followed life behind the barbed wire of a German Prison Camp during World War II. A group of allied soldiers spent the war years at Stalag 13. And while Colonel Hogan and his fellow POW’s were outwardly obedient to their German guards, they were actively fighting the war as spies and saboteurs from behind the prison walls. The show featured wonderful actors, among them Bob Crane (famously murdered years later), Werner Klemperer (an internationally respected classical musician & conductor) and Richard Dawson (of game show fame). The characters they created were classic including Colonel Klink, the hapless camp commander, Hogan the brilliant and cagey American pilot, and an assortment of ingenious POW’s undermining the German effort from within. And of course there was the oafish Sergeant Shultz, Lutwaffe General Burkhalter and the Gestapo visitor Major Hochstetter (“Who is this man?!”). It was a poignant irony that several of the actors were Jewish and a few had even escaped the Nazi’s in real life! The French actor Robert Clary (playing Corporal LeBeau) wore long sleeves during shooting to cover up his concentration camp tattoo! The recurring theme in the show was that even though held in captivity, American creativity, imagination and humor could outwit their captors. And significantly it ran its course right through the span of the Vietnam War, last unpopular American mission. When we are in a position of helplessness it is important to believe that we retain a modicum of control. Hogan’s Heroes depicted men who were might have been in captivity, but they retained their freedom and dignity through acts of resistance and sabotage. It is empowering to believe that our opponents are stupid and incompetent, even if they seem to prevail in the short term. Hogan’s Heroes resonated with all of us because it indeed characterized their overwhelming foes as obtuse and foolish. Watching the show keeps a glimmer of hope alive for us that in the end we too can overcome great odds. In the end, your enemy may be a bumbling fool, just like Klink, Shultz and Burkhalter.

Hmmm…LESS SERIOUSLY....

Indicators that You Are Anxious - On average you blink over a hundred times per minute - Strangers assume you’re winking at them as a result of your facial tics - Most years you are cited for speeding at least five times - Your upper lips always quivers - Sitting still for more than ten minutes is unbearable - After years of night time grinding, your teeth are less than an eighth-inch long - Even when sound asleep you perspire - Without ever dieting you remain seriously underweight - You natural walking gait is over eight miles per hour - You are unable to use a screwdriver due to your quivering hands