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April 2007 Entries

Hmmm…LESS SERIOUSLY....

The Most Disgusting Things About Men: - Belt buckles covered by beer guts - Elaborate spitting - Food particles in facial hair - War - Unapologetic flatulence - Love of The Three Stooges - Indiscriminate breast infatuation - Bathroom crud - Slacks with shiny butts - Macho posturing

Monday, April 23, 2007 Lafayette, Indiana This Week’s Psychobabble: Nightmare Disorder

SERIOUSLY… Dream On! Mommy! Daddy! Help!! Between the shootings at Virginia Tech, the War in Iraq and worries about Alec Baldwin screaming at his daughter we are all rattled these days. Everywhere we look there are uncertainties that jangle our nerves. What will become of Don Imus? Where does aging impressionist Rich Little go now after bombing at the White House Press Dinner this week? How close did Tony Saprano come to killing Paulie Walnuts? These are issues that grip us and make it difficult to shut off our over-heated minds each night. Tens of millions of Americans suffer from significant life stress (25% of us have a diagnosable, stress related disorder!) It is not surprising, therefore that we are experiencing a wide range of physical and emotional symptoms such as anxiety and depression. And among our symptoms sleep problems are increasingly common (20% of us admit to difficulty sleeping). And where there is disturbed sleep we often experience disturbed dreams. In some cases, these dreams take on a frightening tone - we call them nightmares! And when the nightmares come with unusual regularity, we identify this as Nightmare Disorder. Mental health professionals believe that nightmares are a natural reaction to stress especially in the aftermath of traumatic experience. With so many people profoundly affected by the modern era of war, terrorism and the everyday strains of modern life, it is increasingly common for people to report having distressing dreams. Drug and alcohol use is also associated with vivid nightmares, but most often the cause is trauma, such as a death or other major life event. An individual suffering with Nightmare Disorder repeatedly wakes up from a deep sleep, usually late in the sleep cycle and recalls vivid, terrifying dreams. Th dreams are usually very elaborate and seem to the dreamer to last an unusually long time. The nightmares frequently have a theme of threat to life and sometimes public humiliation. The only positive feature of this disorder is that the dreamer is able to quickly become alert upon awakening. But the anxiety about having more dreams disrupts both waking and rest periods. A sufferer can have predictable difficulty falling asleep. The preferred treatment for nightmare disorder is counseling and beginning a healthy regimen of exercise, diet and the elimination of alcohol, and caffeine. The real solution, however is to make the changes in your life that reduce your stress. Having a strong social network of friends and family is the best prevention from scary dreams.

Hmmm…LESS SERIOUSLY....

Bad Nightmares - You’re 10 years old and realize your parents have dropped you off at Michael Jackson’s house - In the middle of a euphoric dream where you are flying you crash into high tension wires - You have a terrifying dream but the events exactly replicate your normal day - You volunteer for a church mission trip and once in the air you are told you are going to Iraq - You are onstage at a concert in front of ten thousand people and realize that you are Vanilla Ice - When the pilot of your plane suddenly dies you volunteer to take over & then remember you don’t know how - In a vivid dream you die and meet Jesus who walks over and gives you the Moe eye poke - Your father comes to tell you a bedtime story and you see that he is Freddie Kruger - You are wearing a powder blue tuxedo and stop for directions at what turns out to be a Hells Angels’ bar - At a party you unintentionally insult a woman who turns out to be Carmella Soprano

Friday, April 20, 2007 Lafayette, Indiana Weekend Reflection: Media Damage

SERIOUSLY… Covering the News & Making Millions at the Same Time! What A Country! The dictionary defines a sociopath as “a person, as a psychopathic personality, whose behavior is antisocial and who lacks a sense of moral responsibility or social conscience.” Mental Health experts use the DSM IV manual to clarify the description of a sociopath. The central characteristic of sociopathic personality is an incapacity to feel what others are feeling. The sociopath is full of visceral rage and acts out against others who are not really people, but objects and obstacles. And their acting out can be subtle or murderously violent. It’s list of characteristics describes a sociopath as someone who is glib and superficially charming. But they are also manipulative and conning. They never recognize the rights of others and see their self-serving behaviors as permissible. They appear to be charming, yet are covertly hostile and domineering, seeing their victim as merely an instrument to be used. They may dominate and humiliate their victims. They have a grandiose Sense of Self and feel entitled to certain things as "their right." A sociopath is often a pathological liar. What’s worse, they do not have any sense of remorse, shame or guilt for was that they hurt other people. To them the end always justifies the means. As such they show what seems to be warmth and compassion but it is a posture and not a true inner feeling. In a word, they are incapable of love. Given this definition it occurs to me that the news media itself - as an institution - is narcissistic and even sociopathic. If the description above is credible, then news media as a business organism has no motivation other than ratings and profits. While the individual personalities in the media may well be full of compassion, the corporation they work for has a narrow, self-involved agenda - money. The popular media in all its forms - from talk shows to news outlets - operate with self interest foremost in mind and without conscience for the social impact their decisions might have on the issue. Profit trumps social conscience. This is illustrated in the decision to air the tapes sent to them by the Virginia Tech killer. The agonizing and hand-wringing of the professionals aside, the conclusion that showing his titillating lunacy is good journalism is tainted by the profits reaped from their scoop. The fact is that showing the tapes, while constitutionally valid (and there is no constitutional prohibition on being a narcissistic bully) is terribly bad for society. Those watching include many who are themselves spinning out of control into a psychotic state and realize that their painful isolation and anonymity is cured by a murderous acting out. It is not a coincidence that these horrific events cluster around the anniversaries of past catastrophes - Waco and Columbine for instance. As for the evil fiend who slaughtered innocent strangers at Virginia Tech University, his mental illness is not up for debate. But now the national conversation rages on about what can be done to prevent more of these rampages. Frequently we hear about how helpless we are to stop these terrorists. And certainly by time someone unravels to as far as this maniac it is probably too late to keep him from acting out in some way - even if we develop strategies to minimize the damage. While we might find ways to corral them, we don’t really know if you can cure a sociopath. If this is true there is an argument for confronting the media with the social consequences of their corporate decisions. So just how worried should be then that these incidents will rear their heads again? The answer is pretty worried. Because there are a disturbing number of people who qualify for the diagnosis of sociopath. According to Dr. Martha Stout, a Harvard professor one out of every twenty-five of us are sociopaths. Whoa! In her book, The Sociopath Next Door: The Ruthless versus the Rest of Us, Professor Stout documents the incidence of these characteristics and her results are hair-raising. But, she cautions, not all sociopaths are violent; most fit into the society around us. But these are the people who wreak havoc in the lives of those around them. In the end our only protection from the harmful actions of sociopaths - whether seriously deranged or functionally destructive - is greater social cohesion to mitigate their damage. The more isolated, individualistic and detached we are, the more vulnerable to the acting out of those around us without a conscience. And that includes the news media. Let’s face it, the copycat phenomenon that is a legitimate fear after this week’s incident is triggered by images seen in the news. Other psychopaths, seeking to step out of their tortured anonymity, were offered a vivid manual on NBC news this week. Until we begin to take serious steps to bridge the rabid ideological divide that disconnects us from each other we will continue to live in fear and vulnerability and -0 significantly - miss the early signals of a blooming, violent sociopath.

Thursday, April 19, 2007 Lafayette, Indiana Nick Kolitis: Hollywood Reporter

SERIOUSLY…(sort of) THE RUMOR MILL HOLLYWOOD IN MOURNING: WE'VE LOST DON HO! One of my self-proclaimed “healed patients” is a celebrity reporter & photographer for a community paper in Berkeley, California. Stationed in Los Angeles, Nick Kolitis’ column is called Rumor Mill. (This week’s entry is reprinted with permission): Dr. Will, A Very Big Bubble Bursts! - I was stunned when I heard the news that Hawaiian Music Icon Don Ho died! He passed away in Honolulu of heart disease at 76 years old. “Gone Too Soon” as the song goes. I had the great honor of meeting Ho several years back while on a trip to the Islands. I was sitting in the waiting room of a Jiffy Lube (I ALWAYS change the oil on any rental car I use - I DO NOT TRUST their oil!). Anyway, who strolls into the waiting room while waiting for his own lube job but the Ho Man himself. I was speechless! But Ho could not have been more gracious. At first I was too shy to speak to him. But I worked up my courage and began softly whistling his signature song Tiny Bubbles. Ho looked up from his People Magazine and, seeing my riveted gaze, smiled at me. We chatted and he agreed to a photo. We talked at length (NO! Not all Jiffy Lubes finish your car fast!). I learned that in light of the Don Imus debacle Ho was thinking about going back to his original name of Don Horowitz. In any event, I wept bitterly when hearing the news. I sent three dozen roses to the funeral home and am already planning a visit to the Ho's graveside this summer. - I am sooo bummed! I cannot afford to bid on the eBay auction for Kurt Cobain’s old, pink easy chair. This priceless relic is in its original condition - yes - unwashed! It still has the broken back legs, original cigarette burns and the odor of Mr. Nirvana himself. Some lucky fan is going to be sitting sweet in this rock legend’s seat and probably inspired to do something great. Whoever wins - you are one lucky individual! - Paris in the slammer? May 4th is a day all of us in the serious entertainment business are anticipating. That’s when Paris Hilton goes to court to face the music for violating her probation on her DUI. It’s more than possible that she could go to jail for three months! Can you imagine? I just don’t see her handling the odor of lock up. But what goes around, comes around. Maybe this is what she gets for dissing me when I screamed at her for a picture outside of Mr. Chows and she totally ignored me! Ha Ha Ha! Get ready for the very bad smell of jail, Paris. Believe me, I know! - NEW FROM ACROSS THE POND: Prince WIlliam has apparently broken off his relationship with Kate Middleton this past week. According to the royal watchers the problem was not with Kate but with her mother. I called my cousin Brice for the scoop. He is my inside source in London (he is a substitute silver polisher in the palace and hears everything!. He told me that Kate’s mum is seen as a “low-class, gum-chewing lout who made Charles shiver like a wet dog.” From what he said there are strict rules about how you are supposed to talk to the royals - including how to phrase every word. I cannot imagine such pressure. Perhaps the Middleton family should have hired their own Professor Henry Higgins to get them ready to meet the family. As for William, who’s next in line? One theory is an attractive young woman named - get this - Isabella Anstruther-Gough-Calthorpe. (If you say her name out loud people around you say, “God Bless You!”) She’s a blond socialite who is seen as a better match for the young prince. Brice says she will fit right in to the snobby family. Although he enjoys working inside the palace, Brice’s opinion is that the royal family are mostly “stiff, doughy, horse-faced people who are living off the fat of the country and don’t have a clue.” Well said, old Fellow! Give me good old, down-to-earth American celebrities any day of the week! I have never had to worry about how I speak to our famous entertainment royalty like Shaun Cassidy, Joan Cusack or other mega-stars like Billy Baldwin or Cher. Contrary to what some say, celebrities like Tony Danza and Alicia Silverstone are not snobs like a certain family over in England! Well, I am off to find another stalking spot for celebrity pictures tonight. Have a great week! That’s how I roll! Nick Kolitis

Wednesday, April 18, 2007 Lafayette, Indiana Whimsy!: The Virginia Tech Catastrophe

SERIOUSLY… How Then Shall We Live? Most of the commentary on television about the massacre at Virginia Tech has been stammering gibberish. This is not really a criticism as much as an observation. Because let’s be candid, people have no idea what to say, or how to make any sense of the insanity of the events there. So with a dozen 24 hour news channels with air time to fill, the journalists are all struggling to find something meaningful to say. But in the end there is very little to say that is enlightening. A psychopath unleashed his homicidal insanity in a real life video game where the victims were not real people to him but a body count in his fevered mind. There is no protection against such determination. It is the unfortunate reality of being in the wrong place ant the wrong time. And so one gets killed and another, inexplicably, escapes. What are we to make of this? Human experience has chiseled out enough wisdom that rightfully concludes that there is a shocking randomness to earthly existence. At best it is about nine decades of heart ticking across the roller coaster of life experiences. I don’t know about you but I am focused on treasuring as many days that are happy as is possible during my limited span. And my advice is for you to do the same. Even people of deep faith understand that this life is random and cruel, albeit mixed with periods of great joy and serenity. But the rhythm of these cycles is not really in our control, despite what The Secret tells you. Every day, my wife Sally and I begin with a fervent prayer for mercy for our children and those we love. But it is always in our awareness that this could be the last day of any of our lives. Tomorrow we will pray for strength for the families of the kids and the professors murdered by a random psychopath. So when I tell you to "have a great day," I take that very seriously. And so should you! (To read an Op Ed commentary by Will and his colleague Dr. Glenn Sparks on the tragedy CLICK HERE)

Tuesday, April 10, 2007 Lafayette, Indiana Media Special Guest: Ms. Pauline Bonner, Angry Senior

SERIOUSLY… Screw the Young I'm Old & I'm Furious Ms. Pauline Bonner is a senior citizen living in a retirement facility in Des Moines, Iowa. Don’t let that sweet face fool you. She was in counseling with Dr. Will for eleven years before quitting treatment abruptly, claiming in her parting words that I was an "incompetent jackass." Nonetheless she stays in touch. She contributes to a newsletter called “Retirement Rant” and shares her thoughts with us here. Greetings Fellow Seniors! As is always the case, America continues to wallow in its love affair with the young, in spite of the fact that there are millions of us seniors who are neglected in the media. So what do we do about this? Here's a recent letter to the editor I wrote speaking directly to the young. Not surprisingly they refused to publish it (most likely because the editor was young!) Dear Young People, I am 78 years old and have seen more history than you’ve seen text messages. In a word, you young people don’t know jack squat. And yet the society continues to focus on YOUR needs, and YOUR interests. Why? Money, of course. They allege that we don’t measure up as consumers and as a result we live in a youth saturated culture. And I hate the youth culture. Well I say - the young are what they have always been - stupid and mistake prone. The young believe they have all the answers. But they are just making the same asinine mistakes as us. Believe me - I remember what a moron I was as a young person. But do the young learn? NO! They pay no attention to us and move away and take their kids with them and never call and don't write and make like it's a big effort to spend five minutes with us. So my question is - why are we paying attention to the young? My point here is to remind the young that the elderly still have something to tell you. We have learned important lessons throughout the years. You may have your computers and your ring tones, but on what really matters, we know more than you. So stop ignoring us! Here are five common examples of how youth are ignorant: - Youth are wasteful slobs! I gave my grandchildren five dollars for their birthday and what do they do with it? They get on the Internet and buy a bunch of crap! As far as I’m concerned the Internet should be illegal for anyone under the age of 50. - Youth are lousy drivers! They speed and tailgate and honk and generally make a nuisance of themselves. That’s why we drive huge cars so as to protect ourselves. Granted we are dangerous drivers as well, but since we have more medical emergencies and have to get to the doctor’s office regularly, we should be given priority. - Youth are ungrateful morons! Dogs and cats show far more appreciation than children and grandchildren who disappear into thin air as soon as they are given their wings - wings that we sweated and gave them, by the way! My dog speaks to me in a way that my children do not. - Youth are obnoxious turds! Look at all the trash on television. People scrambling to get rich and famous despite having no talent. And who are these dopes thrashing around having casual encounters and steamrolling others? Are they elderly? NOT! - Youth are idiot worry warts! Everyone in my own family under the age of 60 is a nervous wreck, They’re on pills, alcohol and are immersed in some pathetic, self -help, pity party program - a program sold by another young weasel. Why don’t you all just knock it of, sit down and shut up and read the damn Bible for five minutes. Maybe we can get back to normal. Sincerely, Ms. Pauline Bonner That’s all from here. Off to the clinic. Stay alive another day! Pauline

Monday, April 9, 2007 Lafayette, Indiana Media Notes: Weirdness Everywhere

SERIOUSLY… Delusions & Gall What Are People Thinking? As a practicing psychotherapist I see people who are generally strong and healthy but are struggling with mood and relationship problems. Very rarely do I encounter individuals with severe or exaggerated issues. But over the past 20 years I surely have faced the extremely odd and bizarre. So when I read accounts in the media about human lunacy I am never surprised. However, when is odd behavior mental illness or mere eccentricity? Sometimes it’s hard to tell. What about you and your family? Think you have it bad? Do you think your family and friends are complicated? Perhaps your family really is crazy. But it’s probably true that right in your own hometown there are those who are even crazier. Illustrations abound of unusual behavior right here in America. - A woman in Montana who reported hearing strange noises beneath her house." She became convinced that "people from the underworld” were responsible for the disturbance. She went on to claim that her entire house had been "replaced" in the middle of the night" and that the original was being stored at an undisclosed location. - Then there is the couple from New York City who are retiring decided to travel to their new home in Arizona in a New York taxicab! As New Yorkers neither one drives and they were partially motivated by not wanting their cats to travel by air. - In Las Vegas Northwest Airlines had to cancel a flight after the pilot was yanked for screaming obscenities into his cell phone before the takeoff while in the bathroom. He then swore at passengers before the authorities took him away. - In Texas a woman stopped for speeding handed the officer a Monopoly game “get out of jail free card.” - An elderly Pennsylvania woman and her two daughters have been decorating a tree outside their house with real eggs. Enlisting the help of the local girl scouts they have 5,000 painted eggs in their tree. - After a heated argument Massachusetts woman was turned into the police by her husband for operating a dominatrix den in her home while her children were upstairs. - Or how about the man in Salt Lake City suburb who called 911 twelve times complaining of a toothache and demanding to speak to someone who could help him. He was arrested. If the actions of the people in these stories seem reasonable to you, it's time to consider counseling

Friday, April 6, 2007 Lafayette, Indiana Iraq: John McCain’s Market Stroll

SERIOUSLY… What War? Where? The Place Seems Fine To Me Regardless of your personal position about the war in Iraq, this week Senator John McCain strained credibility when he came home from a visit to Baghdad expressing optimism that all is well there. He took a stroll through a market area and had a pleasant shopping experience with the locals. Afterwards he pronounced that the place was safer than we were being led to believe. Unfortunately for the Republican Presidential candidate, the photos of his cool walk through the market showed him wearing a flak jacket and surrounded by a hundred U.S. soldiers with three combat helicopters hovering overhead. He was guarded with a level of security that assured his safety. For him to use choose that moment with its vivid image to claim progress in Baghdad was politically ill advised to say the least. He had to be aware of the appearance of his guarded walk through the street and realize how ludicrous it would be to claim it was a normal day on a peaceful street. But the topper was when Congressman Mike Pence from Indiana who accompanied McCain, observed that the place was “like a normal outdoor market in Indiana.” Say What?! With apologies to Representative Pence, I too live in Indiana and never felt any need for armed security when buying tomatoes at our local farmers market. Is he out of his mind? He even tried to defend his idiotic assertion in an editorial in USA Today yesterday. Certainly there is nowhere I know in Indiana that reminds me of a typical day in Iraq. If leaders desire to persuade us that things are improving, show me some troops and their officers who are out in the streets and have them tell me how things are going there. Even the minority who still support this war, certainly a better case can be made than this laughable image. No matter how hard you try Sir, Baghdad ain’t Indianapolis!

Thursday, April 5, 2007 Lafayette, Indiana On the Couch: You Are What You Snort

SERIOUSLY… sniff…sniff… It was laced with what?! Rock star Keith Richards claims he snorted his father’s ashes mixed in cocaine! That’s right. Although he later issued a retraction saying it was a joke, the debased Rolling Stones guitarist claimed that he snorted cocaine that included a mixture of his dead father’s ashes! Whoa! He essentially sniffed his father up his nose. What does this mean? It appears to indicate a desire to connect with his father Bert, who was a simple, factory worker in England. And perhaps this expresses Keith’s wish for some anonymity and relief from the public glare. Remember, Keith and the rest of The Rolling Stones have been international celebrities for 45 years! It may be hard for all of us non-famous to imagine, but after decades in the public spotlight, rest for a celebrity is taking some time to NOT BE NOTICED! For Keith, the fantasy of ingesting his father through a mind altering drug may perhaps be his way of expressing fatigue with fame. By identifying with Dad he experiences relief from the stress of constant attention. After all, his father’ life was characterized by simplicity, humility and service. He was injured in World War II and toiled in a factory his whole life. If life had made different turns for him, Keith might himself have become a discreet bloke working in a Liverpool plant, perhaps playing guitar in a weekend band. Keith Richards - just a humble Sultan of Swing. What about you? Is the pressure in your life so great that you imagine snorting your Mom or Dad? What do they represent that is different from you? What is it about them that you would like to embrace? And if it is the case that we imagine taking on the characteristics of a parent, imagine the dreams and snorts of the children of The Rolling Stones! Someday Keith's daughters may sprinkle dad’s ashes in a Guinness.

Wednesday, April 4, 2007 Lafayette, Indiana American Idol: Cynics and Saboteurs

SERIOUSLY… Sanjaya Malakar Aggression & Cruelty American Idol has always invited criticism for how each season begins, with a parade of deluded young hopefuls being ridiculed for their obvious lack of talent. A big part of the show’s ratings appeal is watching these adolescents being demeaned by the judges, especially creator Simon Cowell. Most viewers - even if uncomfortable with the cruelty of the critique - are nonetheless baffled that these wannbe’s were never told by someone that they simply don’t have singing talent. But now we reach the part of the show where every remaining contestant has a chance to win. Partisan passions aside, the final ten are presumably talented enough to come out on top. And the show has famously had past winners who, in retrospect were proven to be less gifted than the runners up. But all were credibly close. Which brings us to Sanjaya Malakar, one of the current final nine at the center of controversy within and around the show. It is well established by the judges and music critics that Sanjaya’s voice is not up to a winner’s standards. In fact, most see him as the weakest contestant on the show by far. And yet he continues to prevail each week in the viewer voting, bumping out others acknowledged to be better singers. But the back story here is a concerted, organized consumer effort to sabotage the program by manipulating the voting, keeping Malakar moving forward. Led by some web sites and radio host Howard Stern, there is an endeavor to undermine and even ruin the integrity of the program by voting for the least talented contestant. Why? According to one site they are doing it as a protest for what they perceive to be the contrived nature of the early auditions that exclude more talented contestants. Stern is probably using it to spike mainstream ratings in light of his disappearance from the media when he went to satellite radio. Why would people take time out of their lives to undermine the program? Perhaps they are envious of the attention given to these lucky individuals on the precipice of national fame and fortune. Maybe they are cynical and use this effort to express their frustrations with their own stressful lives. Either way, wasting time and energy engaged in an activity to sandbag a television show raises question about our life's priorities and choices. It's probably time to think about picking a a more productive hobby.

Tuesday, April 3, 2007 Lafayette, Indiana This Week in Media: What’s (NOT) Fake?

SERIOUSLY… Donald Trump Shaves Vince McMahon’s Head The Fall of the American Empire Most of my adult life I have heard the lament that the line between news and entertainment is being blurred. I suppose for most people, this debate is long over. As cable channels emerged, the frantic chase for viewers prompted news producers to use time tested entertainment strategies to gather an audience. Stories and images that distract, grip or shock us are the order of the day. The old saw, “if it bleeds, it leads” guides the networks fighting for every pair of eyes possible. Any story with titillating words and images is put up front and center. Well, so what? Does it matter really? Probably not - since increasingly people are getting the information they really want and need from the Internet anyway. That said, it makes one wonder how far media professionals are willing to go to grab public attention. Some unexpected characters have found a way - think about the attention garnered by young paparazzi targets like Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan and Brittany Spears . None is an especially talented or remarkable individual. They are famous because they have been made famous. And are celebrity feuds authentic or are they planned stunts? Is the Rosie O'Donnell media fight with Donald Trump real or staged? And whichever - why are we being told about it? And why are we listening to it? The latest in media shenanigans this week involved Trump and professional wrestling impresario Vince McMahon, who staged a confrontation that resulted in The Donald shaving McMahon’s head bald. Okay, fine. The event was a pay-per-view special and was attended by over 80 thousand screaming fans packed into the arena. For these individuals who chose this way to spend their evening watching a fake event, what was their motivation for choosing this event? And what were their alternative choices? I’m guessing it wasn’t the symphony or an evening at the library. I understand why Trump and McMahon staged this event. It is a spike for the sagging stock price of McMahon’s entertainment empire to have WrestleMania generate media hear. But what does it say about us that news and entertainment producers rightly predict a strong public interest in such amusing drivel? I think it tells us two important things: FIRST, millions of people are so bored that they are looking for any stimulating experience to give them a thrill. This spectacle is a hilarious farce that provides a few hours of distraction from their reality. Anyone without a real social life makes the next best choice, usually some activity to occupy their attention away from their disconnection and loneliness. SECOND, people develop emotional attachments to media characters and come to feel like they know the folks on television. So going out to see Vince McMahon, Stone Cold Steve Austin and the other stars of the Wrestle Mania troupe, gives the feeling of being at a party with friends. Both reasons reveal the sad state of living for millions of Americans. When Donald Trump shaving Vince McMahon’s head is the emotional high of your week, it’s time to take a personal inventory of your life. Rather than spending hours watching your television pals, why not get involved with some real people. If you’re bored you can shave each other’s heads.

Monday, April 2, 2007 Lafayette, Indiana Special Guest: Les Moore

SERIOUSLY…(sort of) You Can Achieve A Bit More with Les Moore What do you need to get to a somewhat higher level? An ex-patient of Dr. Will’s, who claims to have been “completely healed” of his neurosis, Les Moore is a business coach specializing in achieving “reasonable goals.” From his home office in Chicopee, Massachusetts, he helps individuals whose careers are stalled and desire a modicum of success. He is the author of 28 books including I’m Okay, You’re On Your Way!, his classic text I’ll See You on the 7th Floor, and his newest books Living Above the Flat Line and It’s More Than You Deserve. This Month in Business Greetings Tired Strivers from The Les More Institute! Before I get to the headline story of April, I must pass along a new booklet I just read. It is authored by Eric Bundt, one of our recent honors graduates. It’s called Who the Hell Do You Think You Are? Stories of People who Got off their High Horse. It’s a powerful, short diatribe and is available at some Stuckey’s restaurants and at his forthcoming website: www.whothehelldoyouthinkyouare.org. (link currently broken) Well, it’s tax time! And the students and staff at the Les Moore Institute are all abuzz. And why not? Once people learn to lower their crazy expectations for their success they soon realize the great financial boon they experience by paying less taxes. As Ralph Barry, our Dean of Men observed, “think about the intense tax burden on someone making seven figures compared to your five figure income! No comparison!” In fact, he added, “At my annual $28,575 income, my tax bill is pocket change.” Great point Ralph! There is a of of noise out there about “having it all.” I’m here to tell you the truth: NO YOU CAN’T! A few can, but probably not you. So what will you do? Will you sit around and whine about what you don’t have? LOSER! No! You need to sit down and take stock of what you DO have. And it is probably not much. So what? Do you really think that rich people like Donald Trump, Paris Hilton and James Carville are happy? Hah! Well, they might be, but you are not them. So go ahead, audition for American Idol; try out for a spot on Survivor or The great Race. Better yet, take the high price, home success course from that guy with the big teeth. See where it gets you. Believe me, I tried all these strategies, countless times. In fact, I made it pretty far on Fear Factor until I was asked to eat day old bread. It was in that moment that I had my life-changing revelation. I may be day old, but I am not moldy! (A mural with this expression is covers the wall of the lobby in our reception center.) Big success won’t work for me - and it won’t work for you. As Geoff Boswell, one of our recent graduates so movingly expressed it in verse at the end of his thesis: People scramble for riches across the nation They simply refuse to accept their station So get off the Jet, Rhett; and get on the bus Gus; Lear ain’t your name; Greyhound is your game! What about your journey? Are you running a race you cannot possibly win? Why not join our team and find a level that suits your moderate capacity? It is amazing how many people just like you are turning their back on the drive for super-success. If you are described as an “over-achiever” it tells me that you are pushing yourself beyond reasonable limits. Take a seat and reflect on what’s going on? Remember Les Moore’s Modest Mantra: Some scale the mountain, some manage the supply station halfway up. Think about it! Have a good month when the big taxpayers will be weeping and you will be laughing at them!

Hmmm…LESS SERIOUSLY....

Ten Celebrities I Don’t Want to Meet In Heaven - Pauly Shore - Al Sharpton - Brandon “Greasy Bear” Davis - Donald Trump - Pat Robertson - George Steinbrenner - The Head On ad producer - Mike Tyson - Andy Dick - Star Jones   Who is on your list? Reader Amy added these interesting names: Bay Buchannan The Pope (this admission will secure my place downstairs) Liza Minnelli Hugh Hefner Melanie Griffith Carolyn Bissett Kennedy