OR …

They might just be what they seem to be: an evolved human being worthy of our attention. These are those remarkable human beings who have come to their peak, to that state Abraham Maslow described as self-actualization. These are the charismatics who really are divinely favored. Their image really is what you hope it to be. It is their authentic self, an honorable character.
When drawing near to someone who then violates your trust and closes the space between you, who comes down to you and upon you, it reveals in that instant just which kind of charismatic they are … run and tell.

And I don’t know a soul who’s not been battered
I don’t have a friend who feels at ease
I don’t know a dream that’s not been shattered
or driven to its knees
But it’s all right, it’s all right
We’ve lived so well so long
Still, when I think of the road
we’re traveling on
I wonder what went wrong
I can’t help it, I wonder what went wrong

In preparing for a recent talk I was reminded of an idea from my eye exam. I’ve been wearing glasses since I was a kid. At first it was just for reading, but then in my late twenties I started wearing them all the time. I’m embarrassed to say that I could never remember the difference between nearsighted and farsighted. It seemed like they described the opposite of their obvious meaning. So it started with my farsightedness which meant that I couldn’t see stuff close up – in other words, reading glasses. Then eventually I couldn’t clearly see stuff near or far. So it’s easy now, I’m both nearsighted and farsighted. My progressive lenses make me neither … or both … I think. Well whatever, it almost never comes up in conversation. I then thought about the term myopia, which means you only see the near stuff. What people rarely hear about is its opposite, hyperopia.

Before this starts giving you vertigo, I did come to a point that resonated with me. Stability and health for individuals and organizations means balancing the “myopia” with the “hyperoptia.” A healthy organism pays attention to its long-term vision and dreams without neglecting their eyes-down gaze on the details necessary to move toward the vision. I realize that I am a person whose eyes are almost always on the long vision and struggle with attending to the details necessary to move myself along toward that vision. In the past I have had the luxury of agents and managers in my business as a performer. And even when I had traditional jobs I could rely on the dependability of the detail people. Whether it describes your organization, your family or yourself, a fulfilling life course must attend to both the larger vision as well as the daily struggles involved in managing our human life. The latter must be endured, but the former is where hope lies. I confess to being a hopeless hyperopic, trying to stay ahead of the nitty-gritty each day. Perhaps you have the opposite struggle, eyes pointed down and a blank screen when you look up and out. Perhaps this is what therapy is mostly about: to paraphrase psychologist Rolla May, it’s helping a myopic construct of future vision. And perhaps you’re like me and struggle with focus on the grunt work, the tasks. I’m embarrassed to say I’m probably still looking for a good, dutiful nearsighted myopic. Had a visionary day!